Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Spongebob Square.....head ?!

So.. I am feeling like a total slacker.  I was looking through Lincoln's baby book only to find that I have not written anything in it since BEFORE his surgery!! That was like over 6 months ago.  I told myself it was OK because I had probably written things in this blog that I could transfer to the book. Nope!!  I haven't updated this since August.  I guess I am going to have to start making up dates for when he did all the firsts the book wants to know about.  Is there really a mom out there who writes down when their child first feeds himself?  If there is, I don't want to know.  So I am updating this blog out of guilt.  Haha!  Just half way kidding.   But for real,  I feel like Lincoln has changed so much since his surgery I don't even know where to start.  

Everywhere we go people ask me how Lincoln is recovering and when I am going to update his blog.  It is so amazing to still have people thinking of our family.  It almost catches me off guard because I forget how many of you read this and prayed for him.  We were watching a show one night at the Blue Bird and one of the songwriters came up to me after and asked if I had a blog and a little boy named Lincoln.  She must have recognized me from all the pictures.  I couldn't believe someone we had never met had been reading this and praying for Lincoln.  It really is crazy!!  After all the awful stuff going on in the world it is so refreshing to meet people like her who prayed for a little boy they didn't even know.  It makes me tear up just thinking about it!

I wish I could lie and say that I have totally moved on and don't ever think about his surgery but the truth is I think about it every day.  It is not that I am still sad about it, it is just the crazy mom in me worrying that he will have to go through it again.  I try not to even say those words out loud because I am so afraid of it.  We have seen the doctor every couple months since his surgery and so far so good!!!    (   Give me a minute to jump up and down and party... ;)   ) I feel like every time we walk out of his office we should like go for cocktails and celebrate!  They told us when we left the hospital that his head was going to feel "lumpy bumpy" but not to worry.  Excuse me?  So when I feel a knot on top of my child's head I shouldn't worry?  Ya right.  Right now he has what feels like a marble sticking up out of the left side of his head.  Of course I freaked out when I first felt it but had to remind myself that they say it is normal.  The whole front of his skull is bumpy.  When the skull grows back together and the plates dissolve his head will feel normal again.  What is normal?  I can't even remember.  The only time Lincoln's head felt "normal" was in his first two months of life.  

One thing parents who had gone through this kept telling me is that he will stay swollen for the first year after surgery.  I just really didn't believe them but they were so right.  Looking back at pictures of him it is unreal to see how swollen he was even months after the surgery.  He is FINALLY starting to look like Lincoln.  Since the swelling has gone down we are seeing more of the plates in his head. .especially the plate in his forehead.  I think it is kinda cute!  Anytime he gets mad, cries or excited you can really see that plate front and center!  I know nobody else would really notice it but I sure do.  I just think of him as an action figure.. Spongebob Squarehead!  If you run your hand across his forehead you can really feel the square plate.  The doctor says it will get more prominent the older he gets.  As his skull grows back together it will push that plate out until it finally dissolves.  The main thing I still worry about is infection. . .I know this would be super rare since he is pretty much in the clear for this but they told me that as long as he has those plates in there that there is still a chance of infection.  So anytime he gets a fever I go through the worst case scenario in my head and freak out.  Just the thought of that incision getting opened back up...  I can't even go there!

I have been having nightmares that we are hanging out with other kids his age who are talking in complete sentences and Lincoln just looks at them and says, "Goo!"  I wake up in a complete panic and spend the whole next day trying to teach him new words.  He just looks at me like mom you are so dumb. . .every baby knows that "gaga" is a real word for anything.  But then the crazy mom in me goes away when I talk to other moms who say their child is doing the exact same things Lincoln is doing.  I am sure one day he will be talking our ear off and asking us "But why?" every minute so I will enjoy this phase while I can.  

Since Lincoln has had surgery I have had a lot of friends give my info out to other parents they know whose child is having the surgery.   I just always like to tell them how great Lincoln is doing now.  You would never know he had anything wrong!  He is just as handsome and smart as ever.   As much as the surgery sucked, I am so happy that we got this taken care of for Lincoln when we did.  He will never remember it and his brain will be able to grow how it is supposed to!  He bounced back so quickly and from what I hear most kids do.

Our next appointment with the surgeon is in a few weeks and I will for sure let you know what they say.  We will see the surgeon until Lincoln is six years old.  I am hoping it is another appointment that lasts about 2 minutes and we get the thumbs up.  If this happens and you are free and want to join me for a celebratory cocktail please let me know!  :)