Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Guardian Angels. . ..do your thing!

I have always believed in the power of prayer but even more so today.  Lincoln was in such a good mood this morning even though he had not had anything to eat or drink since last night.  He played all morning and was so happy on the way to the hospital.  When they called us back Logan and I got to go to the holding room with him.  We were in there for about two and half hours just anxiously waiting.  I was thinking this was going to be a nightmare considering how hungry and thirsty he must have been.  Lincoln decided instead of fussing he would just fall asleep without a fight.. this never happens when he is hungry!  Logan and I soaked up every moment taking turns rocking him.  It is the worst feeling  knowing we will not be able to hold him for the next two days. 

Around 1:00, an hour later than scheduled, the surgical team came to get him and he was such a good boy.  The anesthesiologist (who happens to be a fellow Kansan- hooray!) turned a Tom Petty music video on his phone and Lincoln happily went to him.  It's amazing what old Tom can do!  When they started walking off Lincoln turned to us and reached.  We could hear him start to cry when they walked around the corner. That was the hardest part.  I can't even think about the expression on his little face without crying all over again.  Surprisingly, I feel very peaceful and relaxed now.  I know this is all the prayers working.  

Every hour the nurse is calling and updating us on his progress.  So far he is doing perfect.  Logan made the mistake of asking the surgeon how exactly they fix the ridge. .. he explained to us that they actually remove the front part of the skull from his head, reshape it and then put it back.  They also have to readjust his eyes.  No baby should have to go through this!!!! We are expecting him to be in surgery until around 6:00 or 7:00 tonight.  After that we will not be able to see him for another hour.  Hopefully we will be by his side when he wakes up although we can't hold him.  I am praying that when we see him we will be strong.  It is going to be hard to see him with lines, bandages, a drain in his little head and sadly no more hair.  They say the swelling is not very bad at first but in the next day or two it will be pretty scary.  We are not expecting him to be able to open his eyes for a few days but I would love it if he surprised us and could open them tomorrow! 

Today is our two year wedding anniversary.  This time two years ago the wedding celebration was in full swing.  When you say your vows you just have no idea what life is going to throw at you.  At the same time, you have no idea how much you are going to love your kids.  It seems unreal to us that we didn't know Lincoln then.  It feels like he has always been a part of our lives.

The calls and messages we have received from friends and family today are so amazing.  I wish I could respond to everyone but please know how much we appreciate the love and support.  

When I was little I remember saying the Guardian Angel prayer with my mom before bed.  I would always imagine what my guardian angel looked like. . pink wings, a sparkly dress and of course blonde hair.  Today in the holding room I said the prayer to Lincoln.  I hope his guardian angel is the strongest dude around who has lots of buff friends who can come help him out!  I can picture him now in the operating room standing over my sleeping baby letting him know everything is going to be okay.  I have to believe this because I can't be there to comfort him. 

With mom and dad in the waiting room before surgery.


  1. So glad that everything is going well so far! I know the next few days are going to be even tougher than today but I know you all will be strong throughout. You all have such a great attitude about life, keep a smile on your face for that beautiful boy. Wishing you all peace throughout this process and we would love to help in any way we can. Love you guys!

  2. Jill and Logan- My prayers are with you guys today. Lincoln is a strong little boy and surrounded by lots of love. Keep the good mojo flowing and a smile on your face. Keep us all posted.

  3. Praying for all of you and especially for a miraculous recovery for little Lincoln!

  4. Logan and Jill,
    Greeting from Wichita. Sending prayers to you for God to keep Lincoln safe, keep you cradled in his arms, and that his guardian angel is there with him throughout his surgery, hospital stay and recovery. I know what it is like to have a child in surgery...not as involved as this one is, but at the same time, it doesn't really matter what kind of surgery...that is your child. Keep strong...just as strong as your little man is. Things will be fine.
    Gods' speed
    Joanie Murphy
    Krystle Hayworth's mom--(she married Dustin)

  5. Was praying for your little one and your entire family today. So glad that surgery went so well! We will continue to pray from this end that you will soon have your precious baby back in your arms and then soon after running around and playing back like his old self!! All the best thoughts, wishes and prayers your way. Stay strong, you two are such inspirational parentsw to be handling this all so well and for staying true to your intuition! - Lindsay Hahn