It was so therapeutic for me to write in this during his first surgery and it was so much easier than trying to text/call everyone who was praying for him! We are so lucky to have so many people who love and care about him. So I figured I would do the same thing this time.
Lincoln has done great since his first surgery. I have so many people tell me how shocked they are at how "normal" his head looks. As weird as it sounds, so am I. He looked so swollen that first year post op I always had a hard time believing he would ever look the same. The first couple of years his progress was right on track. Dr. Kelly thought he felt a soft spot during the three year visit but was very optimistic that it would close on its own. So at his 4 year post op appointment we were a little surprised when he thought he still felt some soft spots. We got a CT scan (for which he held so still and didn't need any sedation...whoop whoop!) and waited for a week to get the results. The CT that he did have several areas that were not closed but only two of which were big enough to cause any concern. My heart sank. The rest of that first conversation was a bit of a blur because all I could think about was trying to not cry in front of Lincoln. I totally failed at that but he thought I was crying because the office smelled so bad that day. Haha! He's definitely my kid. We don't do bad smells.
Logan and I ended up going back into the office together with Lincoln to talk about all of our options. They told us they will need to go back in through the same incision and cover the soft spots. We had the choice to either use artificial bone or his own bone. If we use artificial there is a higher chance of rejection and would more than likely need to be replaced because it doesn't grow with the skull. If we decided to use his own bone we could either use it from his hip or his rib. If we used his hip he couldn't run for 12 weeks and you risk fracturing his pelvis. If we use his rib we could deflate a lung which would require a chest tube for a few days. Also, if we use his own bone there is a chance it will dissolve in the first year and if that happened we would have to go in and do the artificial bone. However, if the bone doesn't dissolve he won't need any other surgeries because it will grow with his skull. After weeks of going back and forth we went with our gut and decided to use his rib. Yes, it sucks to think of him having two separate incisions but we don't want him to go through this again when he is older. There was no right answer and unfortunately both scenarios kinda suck. We just decided we are going to be optimistic and not second guess our decision.
I had some major anxiety about when and how to tell Lincoln about it all. Luckily, it just kind of happened. He overheard my mom and I talking about health insurance stuff and he freaked out for a minute but then I promised him an XBox if he was brave about it all. So all he can talk about now is getting this XBox after his surgery. . ha!
Since then, I feel like we have been living a bit in denial. God has given us some pretty awesome distractions though. Two days after finding out Lincoln had to have the surgery, Bobby Bones played Logan's new single out of nowhere. That was such a surprise and a happy moment for us. I feel like God knew we needed something to lift our spirits that week. I can't speak for Logan, but I was having quite the pity party. I definitely felt like it wasn't fair. That day it just seemed like everything was going to be okay.
We have been so lucky with Lincoln's diagnosis. It could be so much worse and I thank God every day we have two healthy kids. Although the mom in me is nervous and has lost many nights of sleep thinking about everything that could go wrong in the operating room, I know it is going to be okay and we will get through this again. The anticipation is the worst part and we are all ready to get it over with! His surgery is the morning of January 24th. I'll update this as I can if you want to keep up with his progress. If you have some spare prayers, please say some for this sweet little man and his doctor.